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I personally feel like men project the strong independent identity onto me, so that they don't have to support me when I'm in need.
If you are overly impressed by my independence- you, sir, are a red flag.
I don't need to be with someone who wants me to act like I am single, who cannot be DEPENDABLE.
I am not a cool girl, I am not a chill girl.
High maintenance, high standards. Don't come here with your bare-minimum attitude, I ain't the one.
Alice as a goth girl
Whimsical and free spirited
Living in a trippy world
On a psychedelic dream
Little rabbit
With an anxiety problem
Who is never late
Last night was fluffy and free
From the restraints of responsibility
From thoughts drifting
Far out
Creating her own escape
Hand reaching, caressing
Her newly found body and mind
Hallucinogenic vibe
She nibbled on dark chocolate cake
That was laced with defined abs
And a strong masculine scent
Embraced in Wonderland
Drunk on unknown potions
Grinning like Cheshire cats
Hand in hand spiraling
Out of control
Down rabbit holes
Reality so far out
Alice in her daydream bubble
Partying for peace and love
Wishing for a different world
Mind blowing and free
All parties end
Good morning Alice
You have a date with reality
I’m in way too deep
In doubtful recollections
I’ve got a ticket to my own theater
They’re running a show on my nightmares
And I wish that I could sleep
Another night drags into new day
There are no monsters under my bed
They are out there, shaking mens' hands
Voices slipping through cracks in my mind
So tired
So tired
So tired…
He cleaned his conscious on my white sheets
Self assured as a magician
Trapping everyone inside the illusion
And they are objects of his will-
Unaware of the things I observed
His words are like a venomous choir
And they creep, how they creep
I’m standing on the edge just waiting to
Fall again
Fall again
Fall again…
Caged inside my head, out of sight
I am damaged goods, come name your price
I will love you like a crime scene
Before any crime has been done
I am sleeping with my shoes on
Ready to run…
The words I want to say to you
Are bold and flaring
I bounce them on my tongue like a hot thing I can't yet chew
I want to shed my armor
Like a snake shedding skin
Naked, bare and exposed- watch me disclose
I walk towards you tall and proud, not cowering
Under purity of moonlight
With longing in my soul
Let us find a place
Where dreams and reality collide
And let us be pulled
By the gravitational force of love
Place your hands on my mind
Make my heart safe again
And I will remain devoted to the liberty
Of your stormy midnight skies
Commanding and thunderous
Breathe us into existence
I want to be groped like this is the first time, and savoured like this is the last.
I want to be cherished like I am everything and fucked like I am nothing but holes to be taken.
I want to be beaten like I cannot break then be cradled like I’m a newborn.
I want to be denied until I beg for my release, then be forced to cum until I sob “no more”.
I want to be oh so good for you, but I want to feel the leather sting of your correction.
I want to be silenced by your hand to my throat, then told to make those sweet noises Daddy likes.
I want you to shed your light and your shadow on me, your kiss and your whip.
I want you to touch this body until I see my beauty, then let me show you yours too.
It’s dark
I sit inside his church
The air is heavy and thick
Hints of sulfur and unholy intents
It smells like fire and pouring rain
But this underground thirst
Cannot be easily quenched
Ropes
Made of shadows and silk
Burning against my sins
I don't know
When did I relinquish my power
Pinned down by this devilish grin
The voice
Soft, yet stern
Words that send shivers down my spine
He calls my bluff and I fold
Trapped and don’t want a way out
Kneeling
Before the urge
Before the purge
Bewitched and under a spell
I am losing
All the parts that suppress
Slowly undress
The devil is watching
“I am lucid and shapeless
Shape me to your will”
Choked on my own echoing whispers
A mind bending wish
He’s the needle and the cure
Dripping sweet opiates into my blood
I am cursed
By the serpent’s kiss that awakened
All that was not allowed
Surviving’s ugly work
And here I am,
So hideously alive
~Trista Mateer
Do you remember-
Floating city “Paradise”?
Troubled streets paved with lust
Remember the hunger for danger?
I shot an angel on the way out
In the beginning, shapeless,
We were just a thought
In the mind of the shaper
Then entered the void of burden
And chaos
I feel like singing and drinking, that’ll be enough
I get feisty, and funky, I am waking up
I find truth in a song, peace in the fire
Apples aren't as good on the tongue
There is wisdom in the wind and the wine
I feel like singing and drinking, that’ll be enough
I get feisty, and funky, come get high on life
You can relax around me, I will ban the sun
The full moon provided
Now come take in all that you can bite
Do you remember-
Burning city “Paradise”?
Remember the rush of danger?
Can we shoot an angel on our way out?
